xkcd creator Randall Munroe already has a couple of bestselling books under his belt — namely, What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions and Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words.

Now he's got a third one coming out in September 2019 called How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems, where he'll use text, charts, and his signature stick-figure illustrations to walk readers through useless but entertaining approaches to everyday quandaries:

For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally bad that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.

Here are some of the, uh, "solutions" (i.e. really bad advice, just super inadvisable) you'll find within:

• How to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos
• How to cross a river by removing/boiling all the water
• How to tell if you're a baby boomer or a '90s kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth
• The many uses for lava around the home
• Using a telescope to take selfies
• How to use experimental military research to ensure that your friends will never again ask you to help them move
• How to get to your appointments on time by destroying the Moon

And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.

This is going to be a fantastic read for xkcd fans and science nerds alike. I can't wait for September 3rd to arrive.

Pre-order the book in these formats:

• Kindle ($15)
• Apple Books ($15)
• Hardcover ($28)